Good questions.
You probably already know that we help people have babies. Basically, you pay us to be your bossy big sister, except we’re much nicer to you, and we actually know what we’re talking about. We love you, but not as much as your husband or mother or sister does. Since our relationship with you is professional, we don’t make emotion-based recommendations. And this is what we do all the time, so we say things like, “Let’s try Walchers.” Or, “Some Serenity oil would totally help all of us calm down right now.” Or, “You're doing a great job! Have a sip of water and try a little honey." That stuff is helpful when you’re having a baby.
Our support is constant for as long as you need us, and we never judge or condemn you for anything you choose to do. You may have family or friends who feel VERY STRONGLY that you must have a natural birth, or that you should never co-sleep with your baby, or that formula is evil. But this is your birth and your baby, and we get that. We want you to feel confident about your decisions, so we provide you with current evidence-based research when you ask for it. No subject is too trivial or too embarrassing to discuss with your doula. Seriously, we’ve heard it all. Our relationship is a safe place where you have freedom to explore your options without fear of being criticized, and we take the time to really listen to you talk. Then we know when to keep our big fat mouths shut.
When your labor advances to the point that you feel like you need our support, we will come at any hour of the day or night, and in all kinds of weather. We really don’t mind! You’re paying us, so we do what you want (…within reason). We know when the time is right to come over and squeeze your hips, and when you and your partner need private time alone. We pay attention to your needs at every given moment to determine how we can best support you. And after the birth, we stay by your side to gently guide you so you feel confident in your own instincts to care for your baby.
Doesn’t this all just sound wonderful?
Fact: Every postpartum doula carries the Italian mama gene, regardless of her ethnic background. It’s true. I googled it. After the birth at your home, we come and mother you while you mother your baby. We make sure your body and soul are fed healthy, delicious food, full of love. (This is where the Italian mama comes out.) Then we check on your family to see how we can help them feel extra special. Last, we look over your home, so you can focus on getting the rest you need.
We also have lots of extra little tricks we can’t tell you, because then you’d use them to take over the world.
We don’t do this because we really love babies, or because we get high on birth. We do love birth and babies, but mostly, we love empowering women, and we love to see families grow and be healthy and strong. And it’s nice to think we have some small role in that. But it really isn’t about us. We provide one valuable service as part of a team of professionals, whether you have a doctor or midwife, deliver at home, in the hospital, or in a birthing center. And we pride ourselves on providing the highest quality of doula care.
You certainly don’t need a doula. Plenty of women have babies without one.
But now that you know how awesome it can be to have one, why wouldn’t you?
-Heather
P.S. I’ve never actually said the words, “Let’s try Walcher’s.” I just think it’s a funny thing for a doula to say. And I made up the part about the Italian mama gene. Don’t google it.
